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We are not canceled. We are on hold.

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작성자 Shed
댓글 0 Comments 조회 991 Views 작성일 21-11-13 22:51

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"Do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband...?" I am ready to answer "Yes" on our wedding day scheduled last year. Ready to start a new chapter of my life. And then the pandemic happened.  


As most bride-to-be, I was very excited and busy planning for our wedding since Jan 2020. Our wedding month was supposed to be on June 2020. Because I am in Korea I did it remotely with my fiancé. I spent my lunar holidays for it. We had booked all our suppliers by Feb 2020 and we were set to meet them personally on Mar 2020. But then, the COVID-19 virus hit Korea hard. I canceled my flight going to my home country, the Philippines. But we are still not canceling the wedding. With no certainty, yet we are still hoping.


Fast forward to spring of 2021, I had hard time falling asleep. I would watch Netflix until 3:00 AM. When I wake in the morning, it's almost 9:00 AM and about time to work. I would just wash up and open my laptop. And my day will start. This pattern went on for months. Then I told myself, this is not normal. Something is wrong with me. I researched and that's when I realized, I am going through anxiety.


The pandemic had affected me so much this year. All our plans did not materialize. Most especially our wedding did not happen last year. The apartment that we bought as our new home is empty with newly weds. We would like start my own family, but we don"t know when we could do that. And we are not getting any younger. The visa restrictions are so tight. I have not seen my family for so long. All of these and many more, affected my mental and physical health. Past months have been so tough.


"I am stronger than this. I can overcome this situation. I need help." I told myself. So I started going out on weekends with friends. I made myself busy. I also went through counseling.  Little by little I make progress.


I went back to sleeping normally, feel excited on a usual day, I got my hopes up again.  I am now fully vaccinated. My application for reentry permit to go back to Korea has been approved! Just a few days ago, I was able to come back to the Philippines! I can be with my family again! And finally, we are getting married! What a journey it has been! After all the delays and setbacks, I'll wrap it up with my favorite Bible verse from Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time.(A) He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."


Shed

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